Mira Katbamna chooses this week’s best stories from the workplace

Posted by Credit expert

January 30, 2009

I’ve spent the whole week in a state of high excitement. The build up, the parades, the oath, the speech, the first dance … the oath again. I’ve even been greeting everyone with, “Yes we can!”, even though I’m at work and clearly, we can’t.

The question on everyone’s lips was did the Greatest Moment in Living Memory justify skiving. This was a tricky one for me. On the one hand, it was the Greatest Moment in Living Memory. On the other, I don’t think President Obama approves of skiving. However, Americans weren’t going to miss the momentous event, with The New York Times reporting plans for a mixture of sneaking out, extended vacation and, rather hearteningly, office parties .

The big day over, attention turned to other Obama-related issues. When would world peace start? How long until the end of the recession? But undoubtedly the best Obama question was that posed by Indian business journal Live Mint: “What if Obama worked in your office?”. Would he be able to overcome the petty in-fighting, the pointless reports, the locked stationery cupboard? Responses ranged from the excitable – “I put my question to her and then waited a few moments as she screamed and whooped with joy at the very thought of being in the same room with the heart-throb”, writes columnist Sidin Vadukut – to the sceptical: “I’d like to see him try that ‘yes we can’ business in an Indian office. All that is too much kich kich [hassle]. People will nod and agree when he speaks. And then go back with the steel resolve to format his laptop, when he is out for lunch, whispering, ‘No … we won’t!’.”

The conclusion? “If Obama were to join a consulting firm, he’d probably come in as a junior partner in charge of sales and marketing and campus recruitment.”

Of course, not everyone spent the entire week obsessing over Obama. In Tokyo they were interested in the terrible plight of single men facing recession. Bachelors, you see, are having to make their own packed lunches, or as the headline has it: Bachelors tighten belts, prepare own lunches. Luckily, it turns out that many of them are quite good at it, with women – women! – colleagues congratulating them on their lunches, and large lunch boxes aimed at men flying off the shelves. Thank goodness: no one would want single men going hungry just for want of a wife. Or a bit of common sense.

Lastly, some rather disturbing news from The Times of India, whose headline screams: Flirt with boss to avoid the axe! Based on a poll of 2,500 people conducted by Allianz Insurance, The Times reports that people are working extra hours, making an effort to talk to senior colleagues, dressing more professionally and flirting with their boss to avoid the sack. Now my initial reaction to this was: “Those Indians, eh? All that Bollywood must have gone to their heads!” If only. It turns out the poll was carried out in the UK. Just remember: yes we can!